ML’s lament

ML’s Lament 

(to the tune of ‘part of your world‘, from The Little Mermaid)

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Look at this net, isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you say that it’s Turing-complete?
Wouldn’t you say that this net
This net can learn anything?
Look at this graph, tensors unfold
How many layers can one network hold?
Lookin’ round here you would think
Sure, it can learn everything

I’ve got ReLUs and batch-norms aplenty
I’ve got convos and poolings galore
You want GPU stacks?
I got twenty
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more

I want to know what the people know
I want to see
Wanna see ’em dancing
Walking around on those
Whadd’ya call ’em? Seriously, label it for me
End-to-end training gets you eerily far
But more is required for safely driving
Hurtling along down a
What’s that thing again? Street?

Out where they walk
Out where they run
Out where they do more than classification
Wandering free
Wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give
If I could live
Out of this arXiv
What would I pay
To spend a day
Not fine-tuning grads
Betcha a GAN
Can’t understand
That you can overfit your data
Bright non-humans
Sick of training
Ready to test

And ready to know what the people know
Ask ’em my questions
And get some answers
What is a child and how does it
What’s the word? Learn?

When’s it my turn?
Wouldn’t I love
Love to be more than ‘intelligent, sort of’?
Out of the hype
Free from the gripe
Part of your world

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